Who is Dr Gholam Mujtaba?

So you’re out on the road, pulled over at a traffic signal. The timer says 72 seconds and is ticking down. After bashing off the khudkush (suicidal) viper wala, the eunuch wearing awful makeup, the gajray wala who says “bhaabhi, ke haath mein bara acha lagay gaa (It will look good on your wife’s hand)” you’re naturally inclined to look around.

As you take a look from one side to the other, you come across a billboard of some lawn exhibition, another that has Katrina Kaif on it, either promoting Slice or Lux, and one, at almost every traffic signal, that has Dr Gholam Mujtaba trying to pass a smile through his thick space-bar type moustache.

The way he points in the billboard takes you on a guilt trip. It makes you feel that you’ve done something wrong and he knows about it. So among hundreds of people, he is pinpointing you.

Remember the Uncle Sam’s ‘I Want You’ poster? 

I think this is the Pakistani version of that.

But this doesn’t end here. He realised that the billboards weren’t enough for him. He was determined to invade every single household, so he decided to take matters to the next level and now he’s on everyone’s Facebook page! Somewhere in the corner with his pencil sketch.

I think it’s just a matter of time before he’s going to be in our living rooms one day, just standing there in his cheap suit and silk tie, pointing at us, and saying nothing.

On his facebook profile, he claims:

Dr. Mujtaba is eminent amongst Pakistanis in the U.S. politics. He is:

a Member of the Chairman’s Advisory Board of the Republican Party, the Republican National Committee of the United States.
a member of the President’s Circle of the American Security Council Foundation. Dr Henry Kissinger, the former Secretary of State, and Ms. Ann Perry are other prominent members of the President’s Circle of ASCF.
He is also the Director of the Corona-Elmhurst Center for Economic Development where US Senator Charles Schumer and NY Senator Jose Peralta are advisors and sponsors of the Center.
Professor Mujtaba is named to the United Who’s Who Registry as an Honored Member. He is a distinguished alumni of the prestigious King’s College London.